Do you know that we juggle between two sides of reality. One side appears real but is not truly real in a sensible way. This side seems more factual and far from truth. The other side does not appear real, but it is actually a truth or virtue. Our perception often fails us, and we cannot determine reality as it truly is. The apple which looks dark red from outside might appear fresh to us, but inside it might be a rotten one.
As humans, we lack the judgment to see the real aspects of things. This is because our minds are usually too preoccupied with thoughts. There is little space left to admire natural realities. Even our definition of beauty is shaped by comparison. We admire something based on previous experiences of beauty we have encountered. We are often told or reminded upon what is beauty and what is ugly, and we formulate our opinion on that. To trust the self-arrived opinion seems scary, and we more often rely on others.
Are we really rational or just pretending to be?
We like to believe we are rational. However, we fail to see that our perception is often built on irrational foundations. Before making a final decision, one usually examines things carefully. Yet, instead of understanding them as they are, we try to fix them in our own way. To arrive by self-opinion doesn’t mean formulating the perception; it means trusting the judgement of self than others. You might feel the career choice must be guided by elderly inferences, but we never trust our own senses to define how the career should look like. Even in relationship, we are guided by the concept of “as it is” rather than making it “for it is”. We must define our path and activities and must not be led by others.
How are we really making our decisions?
Many decisions are based on assumptions—of actions or facts—rather than on real experiences. Most individuals rely neither on assumptions, facts, nor personal experiences. Instead, their truth is shaped by the influence of their closest allies.
Let me give you a few examples to help face the truth. Imagine you are going on a ride to a place that is famous for leopards, especially around the temples. You are aware that you might encounter a leopard on your way. You’ve also been told not to be afraid of this wild cat, as local people often consider it harmless to humans.
However, you already have a deep-rooted, instinctive belief that leopards are carnivorous and dangerous. So, if you actually encounter a leopard, you might start sweating or panicking. Despite the reassurance from locals and the truth of their experience, your instincts will overpower the present moment. This shows how, in real life, even when we are exposed to truth, our instincts often compel us to rely on past knowledge rather than on present experiences.
Let me give you another example, this time from the dating phase. If someone sees goodness in another person, they may choose to ignore one or two unlikeable habits—like laziness or occasional lying. On the other hand, someone who does not view the person as “good” might treat one negative trait as representative of their entire nature.
In the first case, the person overlooks the negative because they see more positive. In the second, the person focuses on the negative because their overall impression was never favourable to begin with. We often make judgments based on likeability rather than actual sensibility.
3 Key Factors in Making Judgments
So, as I explained earlier, our judgments about appearances and reality are often based on three key factors.
First, universality—we judge things based on how they commonly appear to everyone, that is, their generally accepted form.
Second, likeability—our judgments are influenced by how much we personally like or are attracted to something or someone.
Third, there is variability, which means that our judgments shift depending on the context or significance of the decision.
For example, while shopping, we tend to take a lot of time choosing products that will affect us in the long run—such as cosmetics or medical treatments. We carefully read the details, verify the accuracy, and ensure there are no possible side effects. However, this cautious approach doesn’t apply in all cases. When we are window shopping or buying something with minimal impact—like imitation jewellery—we don’t really care whether we’ll actually wear it. What matters more is whether it’s affordable or available at a discount.
The perception of appearance and reality often differs. In philosophical terms, this is referred to as apparition—the way something appears to our mind.
For example, a common, non-poisonous lizard may seem dangerous to a layperson, causing them to react fearfully when they see it crossing their path or entering their home. This reaction is shaped by how the mind perceives the appearance, not by the actual nature of the lizard.
Our mind can be like an innocent child—at times playful, at other times misleading. To help our mind perceive things more accurately, we must strengthen it and train it to become more aware and alert. Only then can we begin to understand the true nature of reality.
The perception of reality and appearances plays a major role in personal development. Often, we ignore the signals from our own body and mind, choosing instead to listen to the external world. While it may seem easier to rely on outside appearances, they are not always real or reliable.
Therefore, it is essential to develop trust in our inner judgments, as they guide us toward accurate and meaningful decisions. Listening to our inner world—our feelings, desires, motivations, and inclinations—is often overlooked, but when we begin to pay attention, we feel more at peace and inspired.
We must become our best friend and support ourselves at all times. Negative criticism can harm us deeply and drain our energy. That’s why it is important to heal ourselves when wounded by harsh external realities.
Many people unintentionally harm themselves by ignoring the messages of the body, pushing it unnecessarily, and damaging their self-esteem under pressure. Instead, we should treat ourselves with kindness, maintain a calm and relaxed state, and allow life to flow in its own rhythm.
So, in this article, I told you about how we consider appearance and reality, how these are considered different, and that we should be careful in listening to our body to gain a genuine understanding of appearance and reality. Instead of relying on others’ aspects, we should mainly focus on our own and know the truth for ourselves. The truth is not strange to us; the only condition is that we must keep our eyes wide open to see the exact nature of things.
Think Now..
With this, I am leaving up to you to think on few questions of reality.
- Should you see the exact nature of things?
- How often should you have the self-session to know the truth?
- Which steps you should make to filter out the false aspects of reality?
- After you have filtered out false aspects of reality, what precautions you should make to not repeat such mistakes in future?
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